Stripper Rides: Identifying Stripper Sex Potential By Their Transportation. Or, For Best Results: Target Beat Up Late Model Sedans.

  A lot can be discerned about what kind of stripper a girl is by her mode of transport. Or, a lot can be assumed, and be totally wrong.

  Let's jump right in with some photographic examples, which are really great for content because I only have to write a caption and they take up a lot of space.


  If she drives this...

               Give up. Look elsewhere. Go home. Don't even poke with a stick.

                          You have better odds of being struck by lightning
                          while attempting to rape a pack terrified beagles
                          than porking her.

                           She's either a desperate junkie, or a mother of 4.
                                         Either way, it's a win for you.

                                 She has orifices for rent. Make an offer.

                               You will be robbed and, quite possibly, shot.

                                Obtainable if you have enough cash/coke.

                  I put this picture in because a lot of strippers drive hammered,
                                      but not all of them are good at it.

                     Strippers who own these never shut up but are great in
                               bed if you can stand the ceaseless chatter.

                                   Warning! Warning! Danger! Danger!
                A stripper that drives a car like this will happily murder your pets.

                          All you need is a bag of good weed, a gold chain
                               and an improperly worn hat and you're good.

                                 Bitch has delusions of grandeur and the
                         common sense of something low on the food chain.

                           Drug addict, migrant hooker, or raging alcoholic.

                           College student. Will move up to either an Audi or
                                    a Mustang, with all that that entails.



   






  And finally, if she drives this:

                                               Run. Run for your life.







  Well, I feel like I really packed a lot of content into this installment. I don't care if it took 30 seconds to read, I worked hard on it. Send frozen steak and seafood.



-The StripperHerder