There's too many dancers at my club to learn all their names. If they tip good then I will remember them. If they hand me $2 consistently, they'd best be prepared for me to ask them their name every time I walk em out because I'm not going to bother even trying to remember their cheap asses.
Therefore codenames are big for me here. Most of these are just a way of communicating who I'm looking for/talking about to other Floor Beasts, we don't actually call the girls by their codenames.
That would be uncharitable.
Some call signs currently in use:
Skeletor- This gal is 2 years younger than Jesus and looks every minute of it.
Close up view of Skeletor's cheek.
Oompah-Wok: Picture the rape child of an Oompa-Loompah and an Ewok and you get the idea. Slap on a quarter inch of clownish makeup and things get creepier fast.
Rare daylight sighting of an Ommpah-Wok
Sinead O'Connor-Smoking hot chick with awesome body who either decided she'd look better with hair like an MMA fighter, or who recently had chemotherapy. Lack of hair totally ruins it for me. Shame.
Look doesn't work for author.
Amy-Ever see that horrible movie 'Congo'? This girl resembles the ape in that movie who could talk using sign language. Actual dancer is far less intelligent.
"Amy says you owe her $40, but she'd be willing to settle for 20 lbs of leaves mixed with some termites and grubs."
Perma-Rag-If you go by what this crazy bitch says, you be forced to believe that she never stops menstruating. That she bleeds in perpetuity, yet somehow never dies. Every single time she's supposed to be nude, she says she just started her period. Although, between you and I, I'd wager she just doesn't care to expose her swollen, recently mauled pudenda.
By my count (if she's telling the truth) she's dropped more eggs than a salmon.
Brains-This is what's known as an ironic nickname. The girl in question is so whacked out on heavy drugs that she just kinda staggers around the club like a zombie seeking the green matter she needs to live.
"Casssh...caasshh.............Or like some oxys maybe"
Dust Bunny-This girl is so dumb its tragic. But then God gave men penises and money so everything turned out all right.
Dust Bunny-"I had more Camry last yesterday."
Me-"Do you mean your car broke down, hon?"
Dust Bunny-"That's a cow. New booties!"
Me-"Oh, you're getting new tires put on?"
Dust Bunny-"Easy Mac. I Goal Jews."
************************************************
Strip Club Acronyms: I tell you what they mean and then use them in a sentence.
FUBWABA: ('fubba-wubba') Fat, Ugly Bitch With A Bad Attitude*- Self Explanatory.
"I just got bitched at by a Fubba-Wubba!"
BBD: Baby Battle Damage- Severe stretchmarks.
"Her kid must of weighed 30 lbs or she had a litter cuz that bitch has some Bee Bee Dee."
DWBDW: Driving While Being A Dumb Whore/Drunk Whore (varies from state to state)- The stripper version of an DWI/OVI which is slightly less serious than when real people do it and much more entertaining for the police.
"She lost her license for 9 days because she got a DWBDW."
SO: Sockin Out- When a strippers less than firm boobs hang down while she's on all fours like 2 tube socks half filled with curds. This is synonymous with BWT, or Baby Wasted Titties.
Us Floor Dicks used to nudge each other and say things like "Dude! Her tits are SO......", all enthusiastic like we were going to say "Dude! Her tits are so awesome!" or something to that effect. But just ending with 'SO'.
It doesn't sound like much on paper, but dammit its all we had and we were glad to have it.
WAG: Wipe And Go- When a dancer makes a fast pit stop to ambush her hoo-ha with a baby wipe.
"Dude said your cooch was smelty. Better WAG that kitty."
DPN's: Dinner Plate Nipples- (Should really be DPA for Dinner Plate Areolas, but people are stupid.) When the colored area around a dancers nipple has room for a steak dinner with potato and veg.
"I could serve an array of pork products and sauerkraut on her enormous Dee Pee Ens."
SRF's: ('serfs')- Sheep, Ready to Fleece. Dudes with no looks, game, style or drugs but a few bucks to be blown before they leave disappointed. Also known as 'Peasants'.
"Do we have a table for 11 peasants? 11 filthy, unkempt serfs who crave a Lord's table without even a by your leave"?
And finally, not acronyms but still lots of fun,
Doppelskanker: (GER. meaning 'Double Skank) A stripper who looks amazingly like a different stripper.
"When I worked in Pittsburgh, I battled that bitch's Doppelskanker."
Rain Dance: A weird, erratic dance style some girls have that make them look like Rain Man with a botched tit job and Restless Leg Syndrome.
"I had to laugh every time that bitch did her Rain Dance."
I really think that's enough now, don't you?
-The StripperHerder*
*It doesn't match up perfect, but its damn fun to say.
*Synonyms for StripperHerder include:
VomitMopper, DrunkWhisperer, ImpeccablyDressedJanitor and StubbornFuckwit
Therefore codenames are big for me here. Most of these are just a way of communicating who I'm looking for/talking about to other Floor Beasts, we don't actually call the girls by their codenames.
That would be uncharitable.
Some call signs currently in use:
Skeletor- This gal is 2 years younger than Jesus and looks every minute of it.
Oompah-Wok: Picture the rape child of an Oompa-Loompah and an Ewok and you get the idea. Slap on a quarter inch of clownish makeup and things get creepier fast.
Sinead O'Connor-Smoking hot chick with awesome body who either decided she'd look better with hair like an MMA fighter, or who recently had chemotherapy. Lack of hair totally ruins it for me. Shame.
Amy-Ever see that horrible movie 'Congo'? This girl resembles the ape in that movie who could talk using sign language. Actual dancer is far less intelligent.
Perma-Rag-If you go by what this crazy bitch says, you be forced to believe that she never stops menstruating. That she bleeds in perpetuity, yet somehow never dies. Every single time she's supposed to be nude, she says she just started her period. Although, between you and I, I'd wager she just doesn't care to expose her swollen, recently mauled pudenda.
By my count (if she's telling the truth) she's dropped more eggs than a salmon.
Brains-This is what's known as an ironic nickname. The girl in question is so whacked out on heavy drugs that she just kinda staggers around the club like a zombie seeking the green matter she needs to live.
Dust Bunny-This girl is so dumb its tragic. But then God gave men penises and money so everything turned out all right.
Me-"Do you mean your car broke down, hon?"
Dust Bunny-"That's a cow. New booties!"
Me-"Oh, you're getting new tires put on?"
Dust Bunny-"Easy Mac. I Goal Jews."
************************************************
Strip Club Acronyms: I tell you what they mean and then use them in a sentence.
FUBWABA: ('fubba-wubba') Fat, Ugly Bitch With A Bad Attitude*- Self Explanatory.
"I just got bitched at by a Fubba-Wubba!"
BBD: Baby Battle Damage- Severe stretchmarks.
"Her kid must of weighed 30 lbs or she had a litter cuz that bitch has some Bee Bee Dee."
DWBDW: Driving While Being A Dumb Whore/Drunk Whore (varies from state to state)- The stripper version of an DWI/OVI which is slightly less serious than when real people do it and much more entertaining for the police.
"She lost her license for 9 days because she got a DWBDW."
SO: Sockin Out- When a strippers less than firm boobs hang down while she's on all fours like 2 tube socks half filled with curds. This is synonymous with BWT, or Baby Wasted Titties.
Us Floor Dicks used to nudge each other and say things like "Dude! Her tits are SO......", all enthusiastic like we were going to say "Dude! Her tits are so awesome!" or something to that effect. But just ending with 'SO'.
It doesn't sound like much on paper, but dammit its all we had and we were glad to have it.
WAG: Wipe And Go- When a dancer makes a fast pit stop to ambush her hoo-ha with a baby wipe.
"Dude said your cooch was smelty. Better WAG that kitty."
DPN's: Dinner Plate Nipples- (Should really be DPA for Dinner Plate Areolas, but people are stupid.) When the colored area around a dancers nipple has room for a steak dinner with potato and veg.
"I could serve an array of pork products and sauerkraut on her enormous Dee Pee Ens."
SRF's: ('serfs')- Sheep, Ready to Fleece. Dudes with no looks, game, style or drugs but a few bucks to be blown before they leave disappointed. Also known as 'Peasants'.
"Do we have a table for 11 peasants? 11 filthy, unkempt serfs who crave a Lord's table without even a by your leave"?
And finally, not acronyms but still lots of fun,
Doppelskanker: (GER. meaning 'Double Skank) A stripper who looks amazingly like a different stripper.
"When I worked in Pittsburgh, I battled that bitch's Doppelskanker."
Rain Dance: A weird, erratic dance style some girls have that make them look like Rain Man with a botched tit job and Restless Leg Syndrome.
"I had to laugh every time that bitch did her Rain Dance."
I really think that's enough now, don't you?
-The StripperHerder*
*It doesn't match up perfect, but its damn fun to say.
*Synonyms for StripperHerder include:
VomitMopper, DrunkWhisperer, ImpeccablyDressedJanitor and StubbornFuckwit
