Ask anyone in the service industry and they'll tell you the same thing: Local sports figures, for the most part, suck. They want everything for free as if their presence will attract customers like a fresh, steamy shit will draw flies or they're going to spend money like wasted rap stars.
No one even knows who these guys are unless its some mega-star whose face you see on everything from dildos to Audis.
The visiting sports guys are usually pretty good. They may not be good tippers but they spend a lot of money which tends to have a trickle down effect within the titty ecosphere.
But 90% of local guys suck.
I had 5 members of the local NFL team in recently and they spent around $50. One drink for each of them. They spent all the time in the club on their 9G phones, checking Facebook and their fantasy football scores. They neither tipped the dancers, paid any attention to the dancers, or indeed, displayed the slightest interest in the dancers. They didn't buy a dance or even tip a single dollar to any of the girls on stage.
By contrast I had about 11 large gentlemen from a visiting team in in during day shift a few weeks back and they spent around $3000. Buying dances and drinks like there was no tomorrow because they had a room call at 8PM.
Hell, I've got a group of minor league players of a sport that isn't even popular in this town and they spend more dough, all the fucking time than the entirety of the pro level guys who make ten times what they do.
I've always said I'd rather try to get $100 out of a guy that make $35K a year than $50 out of a guy who makes $3.5 million a year. Its a lot easier.
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We had a catfight not too long ago where a stripper tried to rip a guy off for a hundo and when he and his girlfriend protested, she went off like
The girlfriend punched the stripper in the face twice, but like a fuckin girl. She caused no visible damage whatsoever. The angry stripper however punched the triflin bitch in the face like Evander Fucking Holyfield and then bounced her head off the table a few times before rescue strippers* arrived.
The angry, scamming stripper beat this interfering yet truthful bitch's ass. Didn't think she had it in her. Final score was:
DRUNKEN BITCH WHO WAS IN THE RIGHT YET HANDLED IT POORLY: 0
DRUNKEN STRIPPER WHO'S TOUGHER THAN I THOUGHT: 1
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I was too young for the 70's, but even then my above average size woulda served me well. I've worked with grizzled veterans who been bouncing for most of their adult lives and they sometimes, in their cups, mutter tales of a Golden Age of Bouncing*. A time when a paid security employee of any particular establishment could deal with assholes by exercising astonishing violence and a complete disregard for Civil Liberties.
And this was accepted practice.
In the glorious 70's you could pummel a problem patron until he looked like a 160 lbs of tooth-speckled salsa. Then the cops would come by and ask what happened and everyone would say "Dude killed a baby. Bouncer fucked him up in self defense." Cops say "OK", scrape up whatever's left and take it to jail.
End of saga.
Nowadays putting a hand on another person's chest and saying "Hey Miscreant! Put down that infant" is considered assault. Its sad really. People were better behaved when they were subject to justifiable beatings.
Things were just better then.
And the police reports would say something like:
"SUSPECT CHARGED WITH ASSAULT AND BATTERY. EXTENSIVE INJURIES SUSTAINED WHILE ATTACKING SECURITY STAFF. CHAINSAW NOT FOUND, ASSUMED LOST."
Or
"GUY FUCKED WITH LARGE BOUNCER. PAID STUPID TAX. SUBJECT TO ARRAIGNMENT PENDING SURVIVAL."
Or possible even
"DUDE FUCKED UP. HURT BAD. PROBABLY SHOULDN'T OF DID WHAT HE DID. KICKBACK TOTALLY NOT OFFERED OR ACCEPTED."
It was a simpler time.
And now I'm drunk.
.
Pray For Me Like Catholics Do (i.e. send money),
-The StripperHerder
*Like the wrestlers who suddenly rush from the dressing room when a brawl happens in pro wrestling
*Before Lawyers had completely and utterly taken over America and destroyed most of what was good about it.
