Sometimes there are advantages to being an incredibly lazy writer. You tend to start a lot of things and then lose interest and forget about them, relegating them to an unpublished life in the nearest Draft folder. This becomes an advantage when one can't find much negative inspiration in one's current situation that's worth writing about.
That's where I'm at, professionally speaking. The new club I work at is so far improved over any other I've worked at, that it doesn't nourish my inner hate-monculous like all the others used to. And as you know, dedicated reader, my writing depends on rage and the drunken coping binges I use to calm myself down after particularly irritating shifts.
I have iterated many times that writing about a nearly atrocity free environment would be boring. Who wants to hear about how totally awesome it is to be a Strip Club Floor Guy in a well run club that doesn't put up with standard stripper bullshit? It's in the adversity of the occupation where the real humor comes from, the drive to vent through blog in an effort not to go shit-fuck crazy and do something I'll end up regretting.*1
So while I was staring at a blank page forever, trying to come up with something interesting to write about, I got bored and started looking through my unfinished drafts. While sifting through the garbage, I came upon this draft and decided to go with it because it clearly demonstrates my frustration with certain prevailing cultural attitudes and I get to swear a lot.
As you can see there isn't much of an intro to it, I just sort of start by hating on parents who are too involved with social media, which ends up being the prevailing theme, rather than attention desperate parents that I know and still love despite their overposting of their progeny:
I should have the freedom to think that you have butt ugly children and to be sick and fucking tired of seeing pictures of their creepy faces as well as the freedom to say it if I'm willing to deal with the consequences. Courtesy of course dictates that I keep those kind of thoughts to myself and for the most part, I'm reasonably successful.
For me it all goes back to the whole 'Do unto others...' thing. I wouldn't care for people trashing me or my family on social fucking media, so I try not to do it to others. But let's not forget that we're talking about social fucking media here and that if you don't like what people are writing about you, you have the simple option of not reading it anymore and blocking them. This all leads to one of my current dislikes, namely the pervading culture of attempting to offend no one ever because everyone is a beautiful winner and nothing is anyone's fault.
Sooooooo fucking tired of it.
Listen, it's a noble concept. And the world would undoubtedly be a better place to live if everyone on the planet decided simultaneously to try to be a better person and not hurt anybody's feelings.
But it's utter horseshit. And since everyone seems bent nowadays on changing the world to fit this utopian daydream rather than raising their offspring to be resilient, self confident humans who ignore the flung feces of the swarming velveeta monkeys, we're in da cack, fookers.
Being offended by something is the new national pass time. We've become a nation of squabbling pussies who are so concerned with Facebook trolling and which set of junk goes in which bathroom that we don't even notice that we're marching squarely toward a totalitarian future where the middle class is more elusive than sasquatch.
I hate to break it to you but at least 50% of our population are idiots or assholes or both and that's a conservative estimate. Really conservative. It is much easier to raise a dickhead-resistant child than it is to de-dickify a society.
You can't protect your offspring from reality forever. Eventually they're going to discover it on their own and they'll be much better prepared to handle it if they've been shown some adversity in life. Don't sugarcoat everything. There are always going to be winners and losers and this is a fact of life. It is impossible to construct a world where no one has to lose or be denigrated in any way by their fellow humans. If everyone gets a trophy then trophies no longer mean anything and we might just as well get rid of them entirely. Get rid of all forms of competition because we certainly don't want anyone to be a loser.
We're an idiot nation, taken as a whole. Social media and it's prevalence in our lives has just made the situation worse, it's so much easier now than any time in human history to lie to millions of people and there is a captive audience of eager fuckwits ready to wholeheartedly gobble up whatever bullshit you can squeeze out.
In real life not everyone gets a trophy and skinned knees are all part of growing up. A child who grows into an adult having never skinned a knee or two is a child whose parents did them no favors, good intentions notwithstanding.
Yet today we seem to be raising the most self entitled, whiny and weak generation in America's history. Everything is so goddamn offensive. You can't sneeze in the basement of your own home without it being offensive to someone, somewhere. I'm offended, she's offended, he's offended, we're all offended.
Everyone's offended. By something. Anything.
We're accelerating towards a society where even hurting someone's feelings is considered an assault. A world where Thought Crimes and a lack of sensitivity can get you into a lot of trouble. Dangerous waters, my friends....
And this sucks. People need to grow the fuck up, turn off the goddamn social media and stop crying about every little thing that upsets them. It's called being an adult and everyone should try it out for a change.
I'm trying to recall a time where I was offended by something. What does offended even mean? Is it the same as being insulted? I don't think it is. Being insulted by someone is personal one to one invective whereas being offended by something is a generalized feeling of anger towards an idea, movement or philosophy. I've been insulted a million times in my career, it kinda comes with the territory. Do I go all badger-fuck on the people running their mouths? No. If I did I'd be in jail or dead by now
It simply doesn't make any sense to let yourself be offended by something. Who the hell has the time or energy to care so much about what another group of people choose to do with their lives, their genitals or say on a website from the safety of their keyboards? Our nation has become like a giant playground where everyone seems bent on squabbling over the monkey bars and whose turn it is on the swings.
It's getting ridiculous, people. If we keep begetting generations of humans with only a nebulous grasp on the concept of not winning everything, then we may as well welcome our robot overlords, hostile alien invaders or a weaponized super virus because we fucked it all up and need to hit the reset button. Every entitled, delusional child reared by well meaning but misguided parents is one more dopey, unrealistic brat who may one day get elected to the legislature and pen viciously stupid laws. Like banning the word "fuck" because it might offend someone. Or outlawing heavy metal because someone said 'Satan'.
If you think of our society as an ocean liner, then this militant ideology of a bland and inoffensive culture is like the iceberg lurking just ahead, waiting patiently to rip us open beneath the waterline so that we sink so slowly, we don't even notice until we're looking up at all the fish wondering how the fuck we got here.
Every generation gets weaker as far as fortitude and gumption goes. A few thousand years back, one might be happy just to club something small and scaly to death for supper and find a rock to hide under while it rained.
A few hundred years ago you might consider yourself pretty fortunate to have three out of ten children survive to puberty and to live to a ripe old age of 35 before your appalling diet or some random disease killed you.
A couple of generations ago it was a modest house, an affordable car and meat with your dinner a couple of times a week.
Today though, it's a whole different story. You deserve sweet ass stuff because somehow, among over seven billion teeming bipeds, you are unique and special as a human being and therefore entitled to be happy. All those people in the commercials are good looking and happy because they have better stuff than you. You can be better looking and happier by acquiring these things for yourself.
Deus Vault. God wills it.
Capitalism. Materialism. Avarice. Too much is never enough and what's enough is always too much.*2
To me, the model of our economy is a brilliant example or what's wrong with America today.
Say you have a company that makes $100 million dollars in a year. Capitalism tells us that the very same company should make $110 million dollars the next year, and $125 million the next after that and so on and so forth or that it isn't growing. Businesses are expected to thrive. They consolidate, aggregate, accumulate and ideally, dominate. If you're not growing, expanding and increasing your market share, then somehow you're stagnated and going nowhere. As if not growing is somehow a flaw.
This is an ideological failure in an otherwise sound business principle, i.e. let the best product win. At some point there has to be 'an enough'.
Like why can't a company simply state "We made 100 million dollars this year and are perfectly content to stay at this level. We have no need to expand. Our profits are high, our employees are happy and our bottom line is rock solid. Fuck expanding."
This is the inherent problem with Capitalism, nothing is ever enough. Your share holders expect more and more. Your investors NEED another beach house or Lamborghini. Nothing can be done, as a company, to feed the ravenous money-hunger of those who've bought into your promise of strong returns.
"WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU MAKING MORE PROFITS?"
It's a financial disease, our system. And while there are many examples of failed financial systems available to us, once Big Money becomes entrenched in an economy, they will never let go. This applies to all businesses across the board. This is why out health care system is the most expensive in the world, where it should be very affordable.
Once millionaires are being pumped out by any industry, there will never be a financial minimum that will be acceptable as 'successful' by the trade at large.
This is the Capitalism Trap.
No profits will EVER be enough.
*1 Paragraphs 1 through 4 are just bullshit spawned by the threat of my work finding out about this publication. They never happened. I stayed at the same miserable location and just OJ'ed everything.
Deny, deny, deny.
*2 That's some classic ass shit for you, sophisticated reader. Classic quote for the Ages. Literary God-Dick.
That's where I'm at, professionally speaking. The new club I work at is so far improved over any other I've worked at, that it doesn't nourish my inner hate-monculous like all the others used to. And as you know, dedicated reader, my writing depends on rage and the drunken coping binges I use to calm myself down after particularly irritating shifts.
I have iterated many times that writing about a nearly atrocity free environment would be boring. Who wants to hear about how totally awesome it is to be a Strip Club Floor Guy in a well run club that doesn't put up with standard stripper bullshit? It's in the adversity of the occupation where the real humor comes from, the drive to vent through blog in an effort not to go shit-fuck crazy and do something I'll end up regretting.*1
So while I was staring at a blank page forever, trying to come up with something interesting to write about, I got bored and started looking through my unfinished drafts. While sifting through the garbage, I came upon this draft and decided to go with it because it clearly demonstrates my frustration with certain prevailing cultural attitudes and I get to swear a lot.
As you can see there isn't much of an intro to it, I just sort of start by hating on parents who are too involved with social media, which ends up being the prevailing theme, rather than attention desperate parents that I know and still love despite their overposting of their progeny:
I should have the freedom to think that you have butt ugly children and to be sick and fucking tired of seeing pictures of their creepy faces as well as the freedom to say it if I'm willing to deal with the consequences. Courtesy of course dictates that I keep those kind of thoughts to myself and for the most part, I'm reasonably successful.
For me it all goes back to the whole 'Do unto others...' thing. I wouldn't care for people trashing me or my family on social fucking media, so I try not to do it to others. But let's not forget that we're talking about social fucking media here and that if you don't like what people are writing about you, you have the simple option of not reading it anymore and blocking them. This all leads to one of my current dislikes, namely the pervading culture of attempting to offend no one ever because everyone is a beautiful winner and nothing is anyone's fault.
Sooooooo fucking tired of it.
Listen, it's a noble concept. And the world would undoubtedly be a better place to live if everyone on the planet decided simultaneously to try to be a better person and not hurt anybody's feelings.
But it's utter horseshit. And since everyone seems bent nowadays on changing the world to fit this utopian daydream rather than raising their offspring to be resilient, self confident humans who ignore the flung feces of the swarming velveeta monkeys, we're in da cack, fookers.
Being offended by something is the new national pass time. We've become a nation of squabbling pussies who are so concerned with Facebook trolling and which set of junk goes in which bathroom that we don't even notice that we're marching squarely toward a totalitarian future where the middle class is more elusive than sasquatch.
I hate to break it to you but at least 50% of our population are idiots or assholes or both and that's a conservative estimate. Really conservative. It is much easier to raise a dickhead-resistant child than it is to de-dickify a society.
You can't protect your offspring from reality forever. Eventually they're going to discover it on their own and they'll be much better prepared to handle it if they've been shown some adversity in life. Don't sugarcoat everything. There are always going to be winners and losers and this is a fact of life. It is impossible to construct a world where no one has to lose or be denigrated in any way by their fellow humans. If everyone gets a trophy then trophies no longer mean anything and we might just as well get rid of them entirely. Get rid of all forms of competition because we certainly don't want anyone to be a loser.
We're an idiot nation, taken as a whole. Social media and it's prevalence in our lives has just made the situation worse, it's so much easier now than any time in human history to lie to millions of people and there is a captive audience of eager fuckwits ready to wholeheartedly gobble up whatever bullshit you can squeeze out.
In real life not everyone gets a trophy and skinned knees are all part of growing up. A child who grows into an adult having never skinned a knee or two is a child whose parents did them no favors, good intentions notwithstanding.
Yet today we seem to be raising the most self entitled, whiny and weak generation in America's history. Everything is so goddamn offensive. You can't sneeze in the basement of your own home without it being offensive to someone, somewhere. I'm offended, she's offended, he's offended, we're all offended.
Everyone's offended. By something. Anything.
We're accelerating towards a society where even hurting someone's feelings is considered an assault. A world where Thought Crimes and a lack of sensitivity can get you into a lot of trouble. Dangerous waters, my friends....
And this sucks. People need to grow the fuck up, turn off the goddamn social media and stop crying about every little thing that upsets them. It's called being an adult and everyone should try it out for a change.
I'm trying to recall a time where I was offended by something. What does offended even mean? Is it the same as being insulted? I don't think it is. Being insulted by someone is personal one to one invective whereas being offended by something is a generalized feeling of anger towards an idea, movement or philosophy. I've been insulted a million times in my career, it kinda comes with the territory. Do I go all badger-fuck on the people running their mouths? No. If I did I'd be in jail or dead by now
It simply doesn't make any sense to let yourself be offended by something. Who the hell has the time or energy to care so much about what another group of people choose to do with their lives, their genitals or say on a website from the safety of their keyboards? Our nation has become like a giant playground where everyone seems bent on squabbling over the monkey bars and whose turn it is on the swings.
It's getting ridiculous, people. If we keep begetting generations of humans with only a nebulous grasp on the concept of not winning everything, then we may as well welcome our robot overlords, hostile alien invaders or a weaponized super virus because we fucked it all up and need to hit the reset button. Every entitled, delusional child reared by well meaning but misguided parents is one more dopey, unrealistic brat who may one day get elected to the legislature and pen viciously stupid laws. Like banning the word "fuck" because it might offend someone. Or outlawing heavy metal because someone said 'Satan'.
If you think of our society as an ocean liner, then this militant ideology of a bland and inoffensive culture is like the iceberg lurking just ahead, waiting patiently to rip us open beneath the waterline so that we sink so slowly, we don't even notice until we're looking up at all the fish wondering how the fuck we got here.
Every generation gets weaker as far as fortitude and gumption goes. A few thousand years back, one might be happy just to club something small and scaly to death for supper and find a rock to hide under while it rained.
A few hundred years ago you might consider yourself pretty fortunate to have three out of ten children survive to puberty and to live to a ripe old age of 35 before your appalling diet or some random disease killed you.
A couple of generations ago it was a modest house, an affordable car and meat with your dinner a couple of times a week.
Today though, it's a whole different story. You deserve sweet ass stuff because somehow, among over seven billion teeming bipeds, you are unique and special as a human being and therefore entitled to be happy. All those people in the commercials are good looking and happy because they have better stuff than you. You can be better looking and happier by acquiring these things for yourself.
Deus Vault. God wills it.
Capitalism. Materialism. Avarice. Too much is never enough and what's enough is always too much.*2
To me, the model of our economy is a brilliant example or what's wrong with America today.
Say you have a company that makes $100 million dollars in a year. Capitalism tells us that the very same company should make $110 million dollars the next year, and $125 million the next after that and so on and so forth or that it isn't growing. Businesses are expected to thrive. They consolidate, aggregate, accumulate and ideally, dominate. If you're not growing, expanding and increasing your market share, then somehow you're stagnated and going nowhere. As if not growing is somehow a flaw.
This is an ideological failure in an otherwise sound business principle, i.e. let the best product win. At some point there has to be 'an enough'.
Like why can't a company simply state "We made 100 million dollars this year and are perfectly content to stay at this level. We have no need to expand. Our profits are high, our employees are happy and our bottom line is rock solid. Fuck expanding."
This is the inherent problem with Capitalism, nothing is ever enough. Your share holders expect more and more. Your investors NEED another beach house or Lamborghini. Nothing can be done, as a company, to feed the ravenous money-hunger of those who've bought into your promise of strong returns.
"WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU MAKING MORE PROFITS?"
It's a financial disease, our system. And while there are many examples of failed financial systems available to us, once Big Money becomes entrenched in an economy, they will never let go. This applies to all businesses across the board. This is why out health care system is the most expensive in the world, where it should be very affordable.
Once millionaires are being pumped out by any industry, there will never be a financial minimum that will be acceptable as 'successful' by the trade at large.
This is the Capitalism Trap.
No profits will EVER be enough.
*1 Paragraphs 1 through 4 are just bullshit spawned by the threat of my work finding out about this publication. They never happened. I stayed at the same miserable location and just OJ'ed everything.
Deny, deny, deny.
*2 That's some classic ass shit for you, sophisticated reader. Classic quote for the Ages. Literary God-Dick.
